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    梦想之家

    时间:2018-12-03 16:03来源:网络整理 作者: 希区柯克

      我想从头说起,可是我自己也不知道哪里是头。

      就从我同意买那亩地开始,它位于迈尔克农场南面。那天下班后,我一直想找件有意义的事做,所以在警局办公室,我停了个把小时才走。我总是没事找事,是个滑稽的人。无聊的时候,为了消磨时光,总是去看电影或电视。在片中总能看到那些大腹便便、贼眉鼠眼的人,他们经常拿无辜的人开心,经常吐口水侮辱人。这类情节,总令我热血沸腾。

      我妻子在我们结婚二十多年后去世,也就是去年死的。对此我本应该高兴才对,因为这二十多年的婚姻并不美满;再加上我一个人无牵无挂,本应逍遥快活才对。但妻子的去世,让我有一种茫然无措的感觉,就像人在大雾里或沙漠中迷失方向一样。

      我已四十八岁了,虽然年纪在增加,但我对生活的理解却并没有增加多少。

      以上是我的一点感慨,现在再接回正题。

      我在乔治太太家租了房子,这一天,我在回去的路上遇到迈尔克。妻子去世后,我听从朋友和亲人的劝告,卖掉了自己的那幢房子。我给亲爱的读者一个忠告:自己要有主见,不要总听别人的意见。他们说我一个人住,房子太大了。卖掉房子后我只好租了乔治太太的房子,因为小镇上没有公寓出租。可能是我心中有种抑郁的感觉,虽然我租的房间很大,但我总觉得很小。如果你现在还年轻,你将有许多的时间,也许会前途无量,所以你可以尽可能享受生活带来的乐趣。

      像我们这种年龄,生活中缺乏了可贵的未来,有的只是现在。我们的未来逐渐黯淡、茫然。到最后不知为何而活。

      全镇上最风光的人要数迈尔克了,他是位成功的农场主。他还开了一家农具代理店在镇上,在一八公路上,唯一的一家加油站也是他的,这些让他赚了不少钱。他很有钱,但为人友善,一点儿也不嚣张,为镇上作了不少贡献。所以当迈尔克提出一起去喝杯啤酒、吃顿饭时,我高兴地和他一起去了。

      他在和我聊天中,很快了解了我的心情,说我不该听别人的话,把房子匆匆卖掉,这样做就像个傻子。随后,他安慰我说,愿意帮我解决这个麻烦,虽然他可以收点中介费,但他帮我并不是为了那点费用。情况是这样的:有一块是林子的土地,一亩大的样子,就在他农场南面,在外州土地与他的土地之间;据他所知,那块地政府还没有什么计划。他认为我可以在那个地方建所房子,然后开始在那个理想的地方生活。

      “我一个光棍要房子有什么用呢?”我说。

      “你可以再找个女人。”他坦白地说。

      我有点脸红,问道:“能找谁呢?”

      “漂亮的女人到处都是。”

      “比如……”

      “约瑟芬。”

      我们天黑前一起到了那块地。很美的一个地方,有点像小山丘,从路面向西有一个平缓的斜坡,长满橡树和野蔷薇的地面上,有一小块地在正中间是空着的。我捧起一把土,屈膝跪下来,我看着土从指缝间缓缓落下。我嗅到了春的气息、泥土的芬芳,感觉我又有了希望。那一刻,我愿付出任何代价为了那块地。

      “你说个价吧,合适我就买下它。”我说。

      迈尔克说出了一个比我预期低的数目,我们成交了,就这样,我买下了那块地。

      约瑟芬和她丈夫比尔开一家小杂货店,小店离警局只有半条街远。他们店里主要经营日用杂品一些小东西,但东西很全。他们的店不像酒楼,也不是卖快餐的小吃铺,但在那儿你可以弄到早餐吃,早上起床前后,大多数镇民开始挤向他们的小店。

      大约在寒冬早晨五点钟的时候,我们会看到小店楼上的电灯亮了,楼下的电灯随后也跟着亮起来。这时夫妻两人正在把水倒进大咖啡壶里,在寒冬里,那情景给人一种亲切的温暖感,特别是你巡逻通宵之后,或者值通宵的夜班之后。

      比尔早上和妻子一起,从六点开始卖咖啡,一直到八点半。除咖啡外他们还卖奶油面包,以及小饼一类的早点。前面说过,他们店里的灯光让看见的人生出一种亲切的温暖感。比尔生得又高又壮,长相还可以,宽宽的肩膀。但他从不笑,看起来绝不是一位亲切友善的人,一种乖戾的表情总是出现在他脸上。

      你看他说话时,一点也没有友好的样子。也许他讨厌站在柜台后面,讨厌为这些不一定比他强的人服务,虽然他仅靠这家小店生活过得不怎么样,依我判断,不管怎样,他很让人讨厌。何况他还在做生意,做生意讲究和气生财,他一天到晚阴着脸怎么生财?

      有人说他经常打他妻子约瑟芬,她有一段时间不在店里倒是真的,可是他真的打她了吗?我不禁想起安东尼说的话,在一天夜里,他经过那儿,听见了女人的尖叫声。随即下车去敲门,好一会儿,比尔才打开门。安东尼问他出了什么事,比尔说没事。安东尼问约瑟芬在哪儿,安东尼想和她谈谈。比尔说她现在睡了,然后他故作大方地说:“好,你上楼去看看吧。”两人一起到楼上卧室,看见约瑟芬坐在床上,身上裹着床单。

      她问:“你好,有什么事吗?”

      安东尼说:“我以为刚才尖叫的人是你。

      她回答道:“是的,我做了一个噩梦,所以叫了起来。

      听她这样说,安东尼只好离开了,他还能怎么做呢?

      这事之后,有很长一段时间,我老是想到约瑟芬坐在床上、身裹床单时的样子。她是个美丽的女人,是个男人都不会像比尔那样虐待一个女人!况且她还是一个很好的人,她善良、乐观、热心,她的内心和她的外表一样漂亮。有时候我会到她那儿去,买盒烟或其他的一些东西。就算我妻子还活着的时候,我也常去看她。心里偷偷地想,假如她是我的妻子该多好。

      有一天晚上,比尔不辞而别,离家出走了,也没有回来过。

      别人替她高兴,以为她可以不用受丈夫的虐待了。她慢慢地过了很长一段时间,才开始习惯丈夫的离去。安东尼曾说,也许她可能不相信丈夫会离去的事吧!

      那时候我还不知道这是为什么,但现在明白了,因为当我的妻子去世后我也不高兴。不美满的婚姻结束后,事情不会立即好转,这需要时间。

      过了一段时间后,约瑟芬终于重新振作起来,店铺被她收拾得整整齐齐,除了面包外,早餐又加了腌肉和蛋类。所以我和许多镇民都喜欢到她那儿吃丰富的早点。

      即使迈尔克不说,我也知道她漂亮。但是他没有对我说之前,我从没有想过我有可能会娶她。想到我即将在那块地上建一幢自己的房子,又想到……我想象着约瑟芬在那幢新房里,她已经是我的妻子了,为我细心地做着腌肉和鸡蛋,竟然忘了店铺里的事。

      和迈尔克谈话之后,我有好一阵子没去约瑟芬的那家店,我自己都不明白是为什么。我没有想是什么原因,可能在我潜意识中,不想见到她在为一群陌生人服务。

      我有一天徒步经过那家店,发现里面除了约瑟芬,一个人也没有。我为自己鼓鼓勇气,走了进去。对她说:“现在就我们两个在这儿,我是说,现在我们都是单身,请你一起吃个晚饭怎么样?”

      她爽快地答应了,我带她到附近的约克镇,在一家红磨坊酒店吃饭。我只想带她到一个好点的地方,并不想隐藏什么。当然那儿也不会碰到什么熟人,我们能很放松地聊天,增进双方的互相了解。从那以后,我们约会一般都到那儿。普罗餐厅有时候也去,它没有红磨坊档次高,但是更安静、朴实、淡雅,去那儿的客人也不多。普罗餐厅生意很淡,我很奇怪它是怎么维持经营的。管它呢?这事和我又没关系。我是个警察,总想象着每件事都会和自己有关。

      身为警察的我,喜欢直率,心里想什么就说什么。因此我问约瑟芬有没有和比尔离婚?她说,离婚的事正在申请之中。

      我们相处了两个礼拜,我就肯定,自己不管遇到什么事,都要娶她。于是我向她求婚,她有点惊讶,但没有露出害羞的样子或是沉默不语,她没怎么思索,就答应了我。

      那个时候对我来说,是一个美妙、难忘的时刻。

      至于我将要为她建造新房,新房边还有橡树、野蔷薇,我对她并没说。我要让她惊喜一下,因为她嫁的是我,而不是嫁给我的财产。我喜欢她的朴实感。

      说到这里,你该知道她长什么样子了吧。她的个子中等,刚好到我肩部,身材苗条,发亮的褐色略带点红的长头发,皮肤是奶油色,清澈而明亮的大眼睛。

      她答应我的求婚后,泪水慢慢溢出眼眶。

      我问道:“你怎么哭了?”

      “我是高兴的哭了。”

      我抓着她的手对她发誓说:“我要让你永远幸福快乐。”

      不知不觉,春天来了,白天也渐渐长了起来。当约瑟芬不在我身边时,无聊的我习惯在黄昏时候去看看那块地。看看慢慢长大的野蔷薇花蕾,而橡树一直没有变,好像它一直在过冬天一样。

      五月一日,我向迈尔克租了一部开路机,到那块地时,发现迈尔克早就把开路机送到了,他按我的意思,把机子开到空地的旁边,没有伤到一棵树,但碰断了一些枝权。我们必须这么做,因为要开一条车道,车道直通外面的公路,所以树枝断一些也无所谓。约瑟芬的生日就在第二天,我要给她一个惊喜。

      我像平常一样去接她,在路上,我问她:“你喜欢到红磨坊或者别的地方吗?

      “你看着办吧。”

      “我是在向你征求意见,你还是选个地方吧!”

      “红磨坊好了。”然后问我,“你往哪儿开,红磨坊在相反的方向啊!”

      “我要带你去看样东西,那东西是我为你准备的。”

      她两眼顿时一亮,微笑地看着我。

      我开玩笑地说:“在一个红盒里,你是不是想找一条小手链之类的东西?”

      她摇头道:“想找什么我自己也不知道。我已经很满足了,所以不想这么多了。”

      “你会越来越快乐的,我给你买了一块土地,正打算建幢房子。”

      “啊……”她大为惊奇,两眼闪动,“你已经做了什么?”

      “我们要在这附近建一个新家,我买下了这里最美丽的土地。”

      她没有说什么,只是疯狂吻我的耳朵,双臂紧抱着我。

      “喂!”我说,“喂!小心点,我在开车!”

      她放开手臂,但好像怕我跑了一样,还是留一只手轻轻搭在我的肩上。

      停下一会儿,她问:“那地方在哪儿?”

      “你马上就会看见。”

      “大概是什么样子啊?”

      “那里是方圆二十里内唯一的林地,风景优美。到处是橡树和野蔷薇,一百多棵野蔷薇估计快要开花了。”

      她没有再问我那块地在哪儿,估计她从行车的方向上看出来了。过一会儿,她转过头,双眼注视着窗外,生怕我看见她的脸。

      到了那块地,我关掉发动机。

      她声音怪怪地道:“你看那儿有一部开路机。”她压抑着自己说话的声音,像是比尔太太时说话的声音一样。

      我先下了车,到她车门前,为她开车门。

      “下面去哪儿?”她问我。

      “跟我来!”我这时有些迫不及待地说,“就在那个小空地的中央,开路机那边,就是我们要建房子的地方。如果你喜欢树的话,我们一棵也不会砍掉。那像是一座小城堡,只属于我们两个人的城堡。”我把双手伸向两边,说道,“一边是官方的土地,另一边是迈尔克的农场。而我们就是这中间一片土地的主人。

      她下了车,站在我旁边的树荫下。我看着她那对难解的大眼睛以及很苍白的脸色。我心疼地拉起她的手:“你的手怎么在发抖?”

      “我感到这一切太突然了,让我很激动。

      “这儿确实很美!”

      她深吸了一口气:“谢谢你。”

      “我们先走吧!”我们开始踏上矮树丛,这儿刚被开路机压过。就在我们快走到空地时,她瘫软在我的身旁,我的第一念头是,是不是她被树根绊倒了。但她是慢慢倒下去的,而不是突然倒下。她头垂下来,跪在地上。我弯下腰,试了试她的额头,又湿又冷。她嘴里似乎在念着什么。

      我慌忙问她:“你在说什么?”

      “对不起!真是对不起。”

      “没事。”

      “我让你扫兴了。”

      “没事的。”

      “真是的,我……”

      “你病啦?”我关切地问。

      “还是先送我回家吧。”

      她的反常让我很担心,要送她上楼,可是她坚持不让。她说,上床睡一觉,明早起来就好了。我还听她说,觉得自己一整天都怪怪的,但这是怎么回事呢,难道是生日的原因吗?

      我不安地向她道了晚安。我有一种感觉,怀疑她可能怀孕了!没想到自己快五十了还会做父亲!转念一想,这也没什么不妥!她现在已经正式离过婚,所以我们结婚就不会落下什么笑柄了。不过假如真怀孕的话,我们结婚就要快一点了。我只是担心她而已,其他什么都不在乎。

      第二天,镇上唯一的中学发生了暴力。更糟的是,我没有时间给她打电话。这次事件情况严重,校长震怒,这也不能怪他。

      直到晚上九点钟,我才忙完,去了她的住处。那儿的灯都没亮,也许已经睡下了,我想还是不要打扰她了。我有点忧虑,难道她的身体还没有康复吗?不然她这么早上床休息干吗?或许明天会好起来的。

      我清晨时来到小店,门紧闭着,灯也没开。我使劲敲了一阵门,没有回应,又怕镇上一些人看见,只好抑郁着走了。那天,在我和约瑟芬常去的红磨坊路上,一位老妇人钱财被劫后,又被殴打致死,弃尸于小镇的路上。这天时间过得真慢,我十分痛苦地驾车行驶在那条路上。我知道,今后我也许再也不会走这条路了,除了有公务的时候。

      下班后,回到租住的房子,我收到了约瑟芬的信。

      她是这样写的:“我现在很难过,希望你一定不要太难过。我离开这里,不会回来了,这与你无关。在我一生中,你待我最好,但我们是不可能的。我现在说不下去了!冰箱里还有牛奶、半条大香肠和鸡蛋,趁这些食品还没坏的时候送给穷人吧。送到镇上的修女院就行了,她们会处理好的。这个请求,希望你不要介意,我永远爱你。”

      我的心被最后一句话打动了,它像一句诗一样,我相信她,她说的是真话。我说不出话来,哽咽着,反复念着她的名字。

      我到天亮都没合眼,起来后,我驾车到了那片该诅咒的土地。我登上开路机的驾驶座,在空地上开着它撞来撞去,似乎在挖一个地下室一样。我疯狂地来回开着开路机,我自己都没在意,我竟然一直在数,数我开了多少个来回。开路机前突然出现一样东西,我想仔细看看,所以把那东西推回坑里,下车走到它面前。

      我看到了一根大腿。它从土里伸出来,那不是狗的骨头,也不是马的骨头,更不是林中野生动物的骨头。竟然是比尔的大腿!

      我又上了开路机,把坑填平,把土坑边的泥土全部扒回去,我感觉似乎过了很长时间。接着,在土坑上面铺上矮树和树叶,我很冷静地做完这些事。我心里的怜悯之情油然而生,同时还升起一股对比尔的恨意。约瑟芬也许更恨比尔,不然的话她也不会杀了他,并埋尸此处。

      我把开路机开上公路,折回去开我的汽车。

      我以后估计不会回去看了,虽然野蔷薇马上就会盛开,橡树也会有落叶的时候。这块地我怎么办呢?当然不能出售,如果卖给别人,他们一样会挖那地方。鬼知道他们会挖出什么来,或许会挖出带子弹洞的头骨。

      自那以后,我一直没去过那地方。

      又见到了迈尔克,我告诉他,我改变主意了,不在那儿造房子了。

      “那是个美丽的地方,”他摇头叹息说,“不在那儿建房子太遗憾了。”

      那地方是美丽但也是一个不快乐的地方。

    Tags: 梦想 农场

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