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    你是上天送给我的哥哥

    时间:2018-11-27 17:56来源:故事会 作者:
    我的村庄,苜蓿花一夜之间绽放,匆匆赶路的南风,被染成紫色。

      我在苜蓿地旁的坡上放驴,玩刚编好的蚂蚱笼。你跟着一个叔叔,骄傲地闪过山腰,沿苜蓿地旁的小路,轻快走来。你皮肤白皙,穿着蓝白相间的花格子衬衣,左手的坦克玩具在阳光下发光。

      那是第一次见你的场景,我7岁,你11岁。

      你被眼前的苜蓿花海吸引,像猴子似的窜到我面前,“我想用坦克换你的玩具!”

      我满心欢喜地答应。接过你的坦克时,我心跳不已,我担心你换了个不好玩的笼子,你爸爸会不会打你。

      我不知道你从哪里来,却见你四平八稳地坐在我家炕上,和你的爸爸。

      妈妈在厨房里做拉面,我问她,来的什么人?只有过年才能享受的丰盛晚餐,突然降临在这个八月的黄昏,你们一定非同寻常。

      妈妈说:“老的是你爸爸,小的,你应喊哥哥。”

      手不由松开,坦克碎成一地。“我不要他们,他不是我爸爸,我没有爸爸!”从没在妈妈眼前吵嚷过,你和你爸爸,听见我的歇斯底里。

      你已站在身后,默默伸手。我无视你眼里的清澈真诚,才不会握你娇嫩干净的手。

      吃饭时,我忍不住偷眼看你爸爸,他和蔼慈祥,头有点秃。突然想起,在妈妈陪嫁的大红箱子里,见过他,和妈妈相依,两人的脸安静幸福,妈妈一直保存着这张照片。

      原来,你们是接我去城里读书。我狠狠地甩开你爸爸的爱抚,不管他怎么套近乎,拒不相认。自私懦弱的他,是以给我光明前景为幌子,补还亏欠妈妈的情债。我像一只发怒的小兽,把你们当作敌人。

      睡前,你凑到我耳边,悄悄说:“到城里去,打架都有帮手。”我冷笑,我才不是打架的坏孩子。

      第二天,你和你爸爸离开时,我还在睡梦中。醒时,发现枕头下压有二十块钱,一张纸片上整齐地写着:弟弟,苜蓿花落时,我再来看你。末尾写着你的名字:张笑。突然有种幻觉,那张笑语盈盈的脸,就在眼前。

      苜蓿花开过时,你真的来了。带了书本和零食,看来要住上一阵子。妈妈对你很好,做了丰盛的晚餐,铺上很少用过的被褥。你说是帮我们收割洋芋的。我没好声气:“你们城里人,知道洋芋在哪头收?”

      不想你动了真格的,挥动沉重的镢头刨地,豌豆大的汗珠从额头滚落,妈妈劝你休息,你不肯。你手里磨起的血泡被挤破,疼得直皱眉头,就是不肯停下手中的活。

      有你的帮忙,我们的农活总算走到前面完成,乡亲们个个夸你,说我有这样的哥哥,真是前世修来的福。我扬起头,假装没听见。其实,那颗为你合上的心,正被你的温情感化。

      有天,我和你拉架子车下坡,车速越来越快,我们小小的力量就快控制不了了。眼看就要双双被压在装满洋芋的车底,你突然松开车沿,用力将我推出去,你却死死地压在车下。还好,车子撞上一棵老柳树,没有酿成大祸。

      你的额头被擦伤,血流不止。你安静地躺在诊所的小床上,双眼紧闭,表情却从容。我安慰自己,你没事的,只是补最近欠下的瞌睡。妈妈不停流泪,将熬好的小米粥,一点点喂你。

      看着滴滴透明的液体,流进你纤细清润的血管,我的声音颤抖,小心地问你疼不疼,你的眼睛马上睁开:“弟弟,你终于关心我了!”

      我的鼻子一酸:“我只是问你疼不疼,你为什么要救我?”

      “因为我是哥哥,你的哥哥。”

      后来,我考进了你的城市,第一次乘火车,又一路站来。到站后,天和地同时旋转。你已高出我一大截,跟电视剧里的男主角一般帅气。接过行囊后,你高兴地说:“兄弟同心,其力断金。我们哥儿俩终于在一起了。”

      我淡淡地笑笑,力图掩饰内心的感动。

      你爸爸就站在旁边,一直微笑,眼睛里闪耀着欣喜激动,我不愿和他说一句话。报名、找宿舍等一切琐碎,你一一搞定。

      从我记事起,你爸爸就给我和妈妈寄钱。我们从没用过,我发过誓,要用自己的本事和你站在一起。但在大二上半年,我主动向你借钱。你把它当成很开心的事,爽快答应,也不问钱的用途。

      我喜欢上一个女孩,给她买礼物,带她看电影,以城市男孩追女生的方式追求她。直到有一天,我在校园外的林子里,看到她垫起脚尖,亲吻另一个男孩。我的世界转眼塌陷,仿佛被所有人遗弃。

      灌了一瓶白酒后,我沉醉在小树林里。醒时,看到你在眼前晃动,而我躺在一间精致温暖的房间里,蓝色墙壁白色书柜,原木色的门上写有漂亮的字:张翔的窝。

      这不是在做梦吧,我试着坐起来,你的爸爸赶紧扶我躺下,“翔儿,好好休息,过了这关,你就长大了!”

      原来,一切你们都知道,那一刻,我无地自容。

      一位阿姨摇着轮椅,缓缓过来,她妆扮优雅,面含微笑。她是你的妈妈。

      二十二年前,我的妈妈身怀有孕,突然患了一场重病,医生告诉爸爸,要想保住大人和孩子,必须做手术。然而,两万元的手术费让爸爸束手无策,医生给了他两个月的准备期,爸爸将妈妈安顿给奶奶后,跑去银川的煤矿下井。

      有天夜里,爸爸从煤井经过宿舍的时候,碰到一伙歹徒对一女子施暴。爸爸立即冲上去,他力气大,手上还有铲煤的铁器,不一阵,就将歹徒驱散。

      爸爸扶着惊慌失措的女孩往厂区走,突然,马达吼叫,歹徒飞车冲向爸爸。没等爸爸明白过来,身边的女子已使出全身力气,将爸爸推出去,而她却躺在了摩托的轮子下。

      女子的一条腿成了残疾。爸爸抱着她,发疯似的冲进医院……爸爸的大脑一片空白,冥冥中他觉得已离不开这个女子,他要照顾她一辈子。

      爸爸揣着挖煤挣的钱回到家乡时,妈妈已经手术成功出院。爸爸读过高中,有写日记的习惯,他在医院里守护女子而睡熟时,不经意被对方读走他的秘密。

      她以煤矿的名义,寄了张两万元的汇款单到家乡的医院。那个女子就是你的妈妈,彼时带着三岁的你在矿上做活。你的亲生爸爸因为一场瓦斯事故,被埋葬在矿区的深井里。

      我出生后第十个月,爸爸给妈妈一笔钱后,和她离了婚,结束了长达二十多年的娃娃亲。爸爸和你的妈妈相爱了,他们的爱情就像野菊花,扎根在九月的黄土坡。

      无法抉择的命运里,爸爸惟一抓住的,就是那场猝不及防的爱情,他死死地抓住,以至忘却生命中所有的幸与不幸,甚或责任、道德。

      你说:“爸爸很爱你,对你的妈妈,也常怀感念。爸爸并没有丢掉他作为一个男人的责任,弟弟,请你认他,好吗?”

      我在内心里已改口你的爸爸为爸爸了,其实,他并不是你真正的爸爸。而要我认他——那个小时吵着嚷着让妈妈找的人,需要过程。不知你是否知道,没有爸爸的童年,是残缺的。因此,那些可怜的自尊和敏感,总在挟持我的心,小心翼翼。

      大学毕业后,你进入国家电网工作,我成为一名电视记者。三年后,我们都在这座城市里买了房和车。夏天,我们自驾车回到家乡,那片苜蓿地尚在,被染成紫色的南风拂面而过,只是,苜蓿花丛后面,已没有了编蚂蚱笼的放驴娃。

      我问你,当初用坦克换蚂蚱笼,真是傻得可以。你说你也舍不得,那是爸爸的授意,他答应回去后给你买个更大的。我的眼睛不由模糊起来。

      妈妈已在三年前和邻村的老胡结婚了,幸福圆满。说将他们接到城里,妈妈不答应,她说:“城市的洋楼里,我们怎能习惯,还是住在土炕上,踏实安心。 ”

      你笑着说:“弟,咱们听妈的。”

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