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    原来我是如此超乎想象的爱你

    时间:2019-02-14 17:10来源:网络整理 作者: 佚名

      薛之谦在歌里面唱,巷口有人哭,想开口却忍住,是不是所有的感情都该有胜负,我已经没了退路,而你却认输。

      重庆森林里有这样一段话,我们分手的那天是愚人节,所以我只当他是开玩笑,发我愿意让他的这个玩笑维持一个月,所以从分手的那天开始,我每天买一罐五月一号到期的罐头,而5月1号是我的生日。我告诉我自己,当我买满30罐的时候,她如果还不回来,这段感情就会过期。

      人永远都不知道谁哪一次不经意的跟你说了再见之后,就真的不会再见了。突然想起白龙告诉千寻,我只能送你到这里了,剩下的路你要自己走,不要回头。其实我怕千寻一去不返,再也不回头,更怕千寻回头之后,白龙会云淡又风轻。

      大概所有的 “ 后会有期 ” 都只是一个美丽而又残忍的谎言,谁也没有真的以为还会相聚。只是说者无心,听者有意,令我难过的是,遇见了你,我变成了那个把你的字字句句都铭记在心的人,变成了一个没有白龙守护和等待的千寻,我无法摆脱更无法忘记,我无能为力也不想反抗。我是一个喜欢表达内心感受的人,想你就是想你,我会说出来我会让你只知道。因为我害怕万一某一天我们真的走到了分道扬镳的那个岔路口,我怕直到我们即将离别的时刻,你都没能清楚的知道,我是多么深切的爱着眼前的这个你。所以你常常会听到说起对你的想念,在下班的电梯里,在回家的马路上,在喧闹的市场中,在一个人的林荫里。可尽管这样,我还是没有等到你回复的消息。也只有在那些时刻我才知道,原来想念是多么残忍的事情,残忍到我塞满全部的时间,它还见缝插针钻进我的脑袋里,残忍到我明知会夜不能寐,却还固执地心怀期待,直到不知不觉睡了,直到因为牵挂又神经质般地醒来。

      思念说得多了,就不像是真的。

      你淡漠久了,我也就习惯了。我曾听人说,每天说晚安并不难得,难得的是每天的早安。那意味着会有一个人一睁开眼睛,就开始想念你。不幸的是,我就是那个愿意给你千千万万遍早安和晚安的人。只是你装作不懂,我装作不在意。我很开心,在你面前我还可以有那样的自信和骄傲。

      昨天看到一段话是这样说的:“ 有那么一瞬间,因为一个人的一句话,就像被泼了一盆凉水一样。唰的一下从头冷到脚。语言这东西,在表达爱意的时候是那么无力,在表达伤害的时候却又如此锋利。\” 其实我很想知道,是不是每个人心里都有那样的一个人,无法彻底忘记,却又不得不假装果断决绝,摆出一副完全不在乎的样子。明明心里痛得要死,明明那么恐惧孤独,却还要佯装出 “ 根本不在乎 ” 的面容。我不知道是不是每个人都有故作坚强的时候,不知道会不会有人像我一样,在突然醒来的深夜里,发疯似地喝下一杯冰水,企图浇灭一颗因为思念某个人而蠢蠢欲动的心。

      王莉萍你知道吗,诚实的讲,爱情真的挺好的,这个世界上还有什么事情比两个人突然的相遇,更让人按捺不住喜悦的吗。可诚实的讲,爱情也真的很坏。它会让我们变成一个自己都不认识的自己,而怪也要怪那种叫做分别的东西,它总是把相爱的人拽开,总是让你一次次的面目狰狞的面对撕心裂肺的时刻。然后它就用那个人的背影告诉你,不用了,不需要,不必追。

      王家卫的《阿飞正传》里面有一句台词,我听别人说这世界上有一种鸟是没有脚的,它只能一直飞呀飞呀,飞累了就在风里面睡觉,这种鸟一辈子只能下地一次,那边一次就是它死亡的时候。所以如果你问我,那折磨人的爱情和分别究竟要什么时候才能走到尽头,我会告诉你,我们等不到那天,因为那些东西,才是他们本来的而真实的样子。我们永远无法抗衡,但好在,在相爱的那些时刻里面,我们都是认真的。我说出口的那些思念。因为都是我用骄傲傲出的心思,它们滚烫而又浓稠。我特么害怕你皱眉嫌我烦,害怕你伸手打落我全部的期待,于是我慢慢变成了一个奇怪的人,一边爱你又一边恨你,有时候我狠下心自言自语说:“永远的别离,只是情话每一次都是真的,而别离每一次都变成我愚蠢的证据”然后被下一次的情话遮盖的密不透风。我变成了两个人,一个爱你一个怨你,即使总是失望,却也不能彻底绝望。

      我用了全部的力气爱你,我想如果有一天,我真的累了,或许我会去接纳另一段爱情。我还会认真而用力的爱着,只是我很清楚的知道,我再也没有可能像爱你的时候那样花费如此的心思,如此的放低自己。像张爱玲说的那样,一直一直,低到尘埃里。现在我不会了,人是会变的。

      只是没有想到我是如此超乎想象的爱你。我承认,我变了,变成更好的可以没有你的大人了。

    Tags: 想象 爱你

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