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    求你了投胎吧

    时间:2018-12-11 11:19来源:网络整理 作者: 佚名

      “我求求你了,你投胎吧。”地府的投胎劝导员漠生对着眼前这个在地府生活了三年的鬼说着,眼神中充满了哀求。

      “不行,除非你答应我能托生个有钱人家,说句不好听的,我上辈子就是穷死的。”眼前的这个鬼,叫柳文忠的家伙是三年前来到地府的,和大部分鬼一样,柳文忠来到地府后真的是不想走了……

      漠生叹了口气,看着自己的资料簿,哪这么容易?

      一天投胎转世的成千上万,接收的鬼又是成千上万,几十个投胎名额里有个过的不错的,几百个名额里有个算富的,这几千个名额里才能有那么一个特别有钱的啊。

      还不得不说,这比例还真是在逐年提高,毕竟地府上头的人间生活质量都在不断的提高,这要照几十年前的标准来看,这机率可大的多了。

      不过要真说起来的话,这几十年前,地府还没有投胎劝导员这一说呢……

      “求你了投胎吧”,这句话漠生刚干的时候常说,可到了现在,一般不会说了,这眼前的柳文忠在地府待了三年,也算是老资格了,投胎劝导员都换了几波了,这货还没走呢。

      “唉,行吧,说起来你也排了三年了,怎么也该轮到了你了。”漠生合上资料簿,打开另一本资料夹递给柳文忠。

      说起来这柳文忠在上头的德性和修为,真不够来世投胎成一个好人家的,但谁让人家肯等呢,换了那么多人怎么劝都不投,非要等个有钱人家。

      柳文忠之前投在一个普通家庭里,照说他的家可不穷,可也不知道他前世的前世造了什么孽,非整了个攀比的心态,可这一攀比起来就没完了,穿衣服要比、吃零食要比、玩的玩具更要比了。

      这小时候还算供应的起,长大了之后呢?那会他们流行什么游戏机、随身听,那价格可不低呀,柳文忠一个小伙子各种闹着买,败了家里不少钱。

      时间往后推,这成人了也该自立更生了,家里边也供应不起了,柳文忠长的还算可以,谈了个女朋友,攀比的心又起来了,什么首饰什么包包的都要给女朋友买,这还真不是对他女朋友多好,只不过就是……装阔爷。

      最后他死法也和这钱有关,借了太多高利贷还不起,跳楼自杀的……

      当然他到了地府可真是发现了另一番风景,这哪是地府啊?这分明就是天堂啊?

      这谁下来都是一样,咱们平时没事总听着什么阴司啊,什么年头马面啊,想起来就各种恐怖,可这下来一看呢,什么电脑、互联网、美食、玩乐各种是一应俱全啊,用阎王爷当年的话来说:“上边有的,我下边凭什么不能有?”

      哦对了,现在这阎王爷不能叫阎王爷了,老阎王干不动退休了,换上来了他女儿,你说这怎么叫好呢,阎王姑奶奶?

      说回去,这地府的发展跟阎王是脱不了干系的,是好是坏,那就是仁者见仁,智者见智了……

      上边有的,地府上都有这是其一,其二呢就是这钱了……

      哦,现在地府不用钱……

      没听懂吗?就是地府的东西,根本不花钱,货币这个东西,已经被废除了……

      这提起来的话,阎王就更气了……

      在地下分工可没那么明确的,大事阎王做主,小事按规矩办,所以这什么调配啊、管理啊、金融啊之类的就全是阎王一个人管。

      当然这阎王也是会退休的,一界换一界的,到了这界阎王爷可真是麻烦了,上边的生活条件普遍都好了,烧的钱也更是疯狂了,当然那些个什么天地通用银行啊,什么人民地府的几百亿上千亿的钱不能算。

      但就光这能用的钱,就不少了,几十年前甚至几百年前,资源相对匮乏,这有钱人家死了人就多烧点,没钱人家死的就少烧点,所以大家在上边过的怎么样,在下边也就差不多。

      可现在呢,生活好了,资源不匮乏了,那冥币可真是几块钱一大捆啊,这烧起来地府可就遭了殃了,刚开始还好说,通货膨胀呗,阎王爷调控着金融市场还好说,可后来就越来越不像话了,从最开始一下烧几百万到几千万,到最后几万亿,你能想象到一顿饭吃了几十亿的感觉吗……

      后来阎王爷疯了,反正地府跟人间不一样,地府想要什么直接变出来,干脆,不收钱了!

      谁让这地府是阎王一人独大呢,没有什么董事会也没有什么垂帘听政,自己一个人,爱咋咋滴!不收就不收!

      所以地府就变成了现在这副模样,鬼们来了就根本不想走,所以这投胎劝导员就这么诞生了……

      “你要有追求啊!你想想你上辈子是怎么活的,窝囊不窝囊,投胎重活过去啊!你要赢得人生啊!!!”

      “赢个鸡毛,在这要什么有什么,挺好的,别来烦我了,我不投……”

      呼,漠生想起来这些就不自觉的打了个冷颤,劝这群鬼投胎真的是太难了……

      “你看看吧,这户人家包你满意,想好了就签个字,跟地府的朋友告个别,下个月初七投胎走人吧。”漠生起身把文件递过去后又坐下。

      “谢顶……”柳文忠看着手中的文件夹:“我这下辈子的名字是不是太惨了一点?”

      “哎哎哎,你差不多得了昂,还挑名字,你仔细看看那家产,看看家产,那多少啊,八位数,父亲可是大官,你还想咋滴?”漠生急了,跟柳文忠掰扯着。

      “哈哈哈哈,你别激动,我开个玩笑,管他这名字那名字呢,有钱就行,我签字。”柳文忠高兴的拿起笔来飞快的在文件上签了字。

      呼,漠生松了口气,这下领导安排的活也算是完成了……

      “好啦我走啦,谢了。”柳文忠抬起屁股就走,颠颠的就走远了。

      漠生看着远去的柳文忠露出一丝笑容:“就你那点修为还想投个好人家……”

      上辈子不好好做人,修为不够,下辈子就别想托生个好人家,这虽然不是死规矩,但也算是地府工作人员的一种共识……

      所以漠生也算是黑了柳文忠一把,你自己说的要托生个好人家的,可没说这好人家以后什么样子……

      他托生的家庭绝对算是个大户,家里边几千万的资产,可惜都是不干净的钱,男方是个大贪官,算是老来得子,找预测员算了一下,那个谢顶,就是柳文忠出生后没两年,就赶上了打老虎的大行动,财产没收,男方蹲进监狱,剩下孤儿寡母两人……

      “谁让你上辈子不好好做人来着,你下辈子也得不到好。”漠生看着柳文忠在文件上的签名满脸得意,突然脸色一变:“哎哎哎,你没按手印呢,你给老子回来。”

    Tags: 投胎 地府

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