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    亡妻留下的台灯

    时间:2018-12-07 15:16来源:网络整理 作者: 佚名

      我不是个迷信的人,也不是个疑神疑鬼的人。事实上,我连算命和星座都不相信,只相信眼前看到的。可事情发生后,我却始终不敢相信,那真的是巧合吗?

      那盏台灯是小雪留给我的,那是她和我结婚时唯一的嫁妆。两年前,她因癌症离开了我,我曾经一度陷入极其悲伤和痛苦之中。我至今仍记得小雪在临终前拉着我的手对我说,别怕,我去那边会保佑你。

      有很长一段时间,我沉浸在酒精的麻醉中。整个人精神恍惚,醉生梦死。我是一个政府公务员,专门负责土地审批调研,我的状态和情绪影响了我的工作,为此被领导点名批评。

      王敏就是这个时候走进了我的世界。王敏是一家地产公司的总裁助理,工作上,我们一直有业务来往。我承认,她很漂亮,可我从没对她有过非分之想,在我心中,小雪依旧是我的唯一。

      那次市委组织的酒会,我又喝多了。我认为我完了,我甚至已经决定破罐子破摔,不在乎了。可就在市委领导即将看见我酒醉疯癫的时刻,王敏救了我。她巧妙地将领导们引到了一边,然后返身回来将出尽洋相的我送回了家。

      那晚的月色很好,王敏在小区花园里狠狠地抽了我一耳光,她对我喊,你醒醒吧,懦夫!

      我被她震住了,脸上火辣辣的。月光洒下来,映着她泪水晶莹的脸,我心如刀绞。

      那之后,我决定从悲伤中走出来。我扔掉了所有能唤起悲伤记忆的物品,只留下了那盏台灯。那是一盏金色琉璃制的台灯,是小雪祖母用过的。小雪一直很喜欢它,每天都擦一擦。它的性能也始终非常好,那么久了,从未出现过故障。

      王敏利用工作的便利,给我找了一套公寓,22层。最初我拒绝,我怕有人误会这是受贿行为。可王敏说,你交房租,交停车费,跟所有租房的人一样,我不过是做了一次免费中介。

      搬家的时候,我只有两包衣服,和那盏台灯。王敏很喜欢它,用手去摸,却过了电,疼得眼泪直流。王敏说,一定是你前妻留下的。我能感觉出它的敌意。

      我觉得扯淡,只是一盏灯,一盏老旧的灯。王敏要扔掉它,我想了很久,还是没舍得。我知道,我还是不能完全放下心中的小雪。

      我承认我是孤独的,思念的悲苦无处述说,内心堆积着伤痛后留下的寂寞。王敏陪着我,一起逛街,看电影,或者坐在22层的落地窗前,在那盏橘黄色的台灯下喝咖啡,听音乐。

      我的伤痛在她的安抚下慢慢愈合,那段时间,我快乐且温暖着。

      王敏第一次留下来那天晚上,是她的生日。我们两个开了瓶红酒,一起吹了蜡烛。后来,她要走,她说我们的身份比较敏感,怕被人误解。

      我拉住她,问,我单身,你单身,谁规定不能相爱?

      我把相爱这个词咬得很重,她听了,脸红了,一头扑进了我的怀里。就在这时,那盏台灯扑地一声,灭了。

      王敏被吓了一跳,可我却不管不顾,一年多时间里,我的世界缺少温存,我几乎已经忘记了女人的味道。王敏犹豫了一下,就重新投入到激情中。

      由于搬家不久,那台灯是房间里的唯一光源。我和王敏在黑暗中缠绵一晚,然后相拥而睡。第二天我清晨醒来,我发现,那台灯竟然又亮了。

      我和王敏的感情很快升温,可让人常意外的是,只要我和王敏有一点亲热行为,台灯就会熄灭。等我们分开,它又自己亮起来。

      王敏恨透了这盏灯。她说,它被你前妻附体了。

      我知道她是开玩笑,但还是找来了装修工人,一口气在墙壁天棚装了五盏灯。那晚,我把所有的灯都打开,然后坐在家里王敏回来。

      可我再也没等到她。半夜的时候,一个检察院的朋友给我打来电话,他问,你和王敏到底啥关系?

      我问他,怎么了?

      他说,王敏出事了。

      我做梦也没想到,我不是王敏唯一的男人。事实让我吃惊,除了我,王敏还有两个男人,一个是税务局的科长,一个是质检总局的处长。处长因为受贿被双规,于是咬出了一长串。包括王敏,以及王敏的老板。

      可让我意外的是,王敏说她接近我,其实是为了工程审批的需要。她说她在我家里安装了针孔探头,想拍下我和她在床上的录像。可惜很不巧,由于台灯故障,她只拍到了一片漆黑。

      检察院的朋友问我,你跟我说实话,你到底为她做过什么没?

      我说没有,我以为,我爱她。

      朋友骂了句傻瓜,就挂上了电话。我转回身,看着写字台上那盏幽幽泛黄的台灯,心里一瞬间五味翻滚。

      小雪说,别怕,我去那边会保佑你。

      是的,我想,这是我能想象出来的唯一解释。

      那之后,那盏台灯再也没出现过故障,它在我的房间里一直亮着,光线昏黄,幽幽神秘……

    Tags: 亡妻 台灯

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